Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
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