new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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