Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
