i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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