found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
You have to summon your inner elephant
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Randomize
