he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
Randomize
