She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
We are two peas in an std pod
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
Randomize
