Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
Randomize
