remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
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