I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
Randomize
