Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
Randomize