did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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