Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
Randomize
