Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
Randomize