You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
