Please, let me fuck your mom
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
Randomize
