I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
Randomize
