i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
you would pick up someone in the library
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
Randomize
