Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
It was like giving head to a cactus.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize
