Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
Randomize
