No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
Randomize
