I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
Randomize
