Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
Randomize
