my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
Randomize
