some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
Randomize
