I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
I am mentally ready for anal.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
Randomize
