Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
Randomize
