She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
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