I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Randomize
