I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Randomize
