What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
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