her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
Randomize
