Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
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