and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
Four minutes until I can fart!
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
We have so much sex to catch up on
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize
