If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
