There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
Randomize
