he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
just found out that she named her cat after me.
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
i need some magic done to my vagina
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
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