Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
Randomize
