What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
She's just so happy...and so naked.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
Randomize
