Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
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