I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
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