And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
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