My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
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