also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
