What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
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