I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Randomize
