This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
you inspire me to be a worse person
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
Randomize
