i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Randomize
