Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
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