i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
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